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Episode 4 – Striving for a Healthy Balance

Healthy balance sometimes means doing what we don’t want to do. As I shoot this series of videos I am undergoing daily chemo which is making my face read and blotchy.

Clearly, striving for a healthy balance is necesary during days like this.

First rectal cancer and later leukemia

Today’s episode came about from talking with my friend from high school. She told me she was diagnosed first with rectal cancer and later leukemia. She talked about walking through this process without a support system and how she struggled. Doing what needs to be done and accepting what needs to be faced is a challenge. She also talked about the daily struggles she experienced, and how facing them without support made it harder.

We expect to go back to our normal life

As cancer survivors it is not unusual for us to overcome challenges. After that, when we’re done with treatment, we expect to go back to our normal life. It doesn’t happen that way for a lot of us. My friend talked about how hard it was to admit she couldn’t do certain activities that she used to do easily.

Striving for a healthy balance

How I can relate to that! There are many things today I don’t have access to anymore in my life after cancer. So today, lets focus on a healthy balance after cancer?

There are a few ways we deal with our cancer.

Business as usual. Step into our daily tasks regardless if we’ve just had surgery or treatment. Back to work, back to volunteering, thinking we’re just fine. Back to the gym. For me, I was going to go back and be Super-mom, Superhuman. Instead, I was stealing from the whole cancer experience. There wasn’t a way to avoid it, you have to go through it.

I can’t do anything , so don’t expect me to do anything, because I have cancer.
In this mode, I felt like a victim to the circumstances of my life. I was depresssed. Consequently I couldn’t muster my usual strength. Societies rules felt like they should not apply to me and I should get a pass. For example, I often went around barefoot as my silent protestation of societal rules, .

I knew I couldn’t stay in any of these places for too long. However, even knowing what I knew, I’d still get stuck. It was painful to discover there were things that wouldn’t go back to the way they were and I needed to find a way to survive. I learned to break them into six different categories.

The Spices of Life

Social – People we think would be in our inner circle and support system may not be there for us as expected. Others show up and provide care and support. I bounced between loving people and wanting them around, and desperately wanting alone time.
Physical – Our bodies are fighting something deadly, while at the same time they are working hard to help us survive. There are restrictions from surgery. Treatment is arduous and certainly can come with long term consequences. Chemo was exhausting therefore I had less stamina. As a result it was hard for me to exercise. And work was nearly impossible.
Intellectual – ‘Chemo brain’ is a real thing and can have memory effects that last a lifetime. Sometimes it’s just feeling like your brain isn’t working the way it used to. Consequently, simple things that we used to do easily may be more like a task for us.
Change – Work, money, relationships, time, family…all changes. As a result we are exposed to whole new level of stress. How do we balance and manage it?
Spirituality – Some people draw closer to their spirituality, and others find themselves distanced and isolated.

What do you do?

To start with, honor where you are. Sit in your skin. Sense what’s going on for you on the inside. Be where you are. In other words, accept what you can’t change.

Find someone around you who ‘gets it’ if you feel depressed, hopeless, or frustrated. Don’t try to force someone who isn’t listening, to listen. If you’re afraid to hurt someones feelings…find the person who’s right for you and talk to them. It’s okay to let go of how it’s going to impact other people. Right now it gets to be about you. So, give yourself permission to talk to the people who understand. Be real about where you are right now. When you do, the right people will hold space and give you time to say what needs to be said. As you do, you’ll find things easier to bear.

No matter where you are, you won’t be there forever.

Give yourself a chance to reflect on where you are – slow down. Embrace what’s keeping you stuck, release it, and thrive where you are. Until we meet again…

The post Episode 4 – Striving for a Healthy Balance appeared first on All About Spirit.

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