It’s hard to believe someone with a prostate cancer diagnose would say I have it easy.   But that is exactly what Bob, from Appleton Wisconsin says, when he talks about his family history with prostate cancer.

There are eight boys in my family. All eight of us had surgery or are currently dealing with prostate cancer now. Cancer has opened the door to better communication for us, since we are not a family of talkers. We communicate better now than we have since we were kids. I’ve talked to all my brothers about cancer.

In 2004 or 2005, my oldest brother was the first of us to be diagnosed. When he found out he had cancer he said “I don’t want any parts of me gone” and he has held true to that statement. His treatment plan includes regular check-ups each year, and they just keep checking.

In a recent conversation, one of my other brothers asked me “how do you handle the depression?” I found out he was having hormone treatments. Because I didn’t have any hormone treatment or any other treatment beyond surgery so I couldn’t help him with his depression. And that is what I meant when I said, “I had it easy.”

My cancer journey began with an elevated Prostate Specific Antigen (PSA) level. I went for regular check-ups beginning at age 50, and during one of my physicals my PSA jumped from 2.9 to 5.2, and my doctor suggested I go see a urologist. During my check up the urologist took my family history, performed a digital check, and decided something that wasn’t normal.

I was sent for a biopsy sample – well actually 10 biopsy samples. Before the procedure took place the doctor told me a little about it. Until then, I really didn’t know what to expect. It sounded like a pistol when they took the tissue samples. A trigger was pulled and another sample was taken. He told me about it and that was good. Because the doctor prepared me for it, the process wasn’t so bad.

Our local hospital, Appleton Medical Center (AMC) processed the samples. A second opinion seemed in order so my samples were sent to Mayo Clinic. When you are facing cancer,  you would think medical providers would take care of the “insurance stuff” but don’t be fooled. A point often overlooked today is, not all providers take the time to check.  AMC wasn’t a part of my insurance network, nor was Mayo. Consequently, I ended up paying for both my first and second opinions. If first sample had been sent to my in network hospital it would have been free. Since that’s not what happened, it cost me about $3,000 in out of pocket expenses.

When the time for surgery came there were two options – conventional or robotic. Since I had no idea which was best, I went to Madison to find out more. Once I had a better understanding of my condition, and the risks associated with each option, I decided to have conventional surgery. There was an increased risk for damage if surgery was robotic because of the size of my prostate.

My second surgery occurred in April 2007. In some situations surgeons remove nerves, which prevent erection. In my case, they performed a nerve sparing surgery which allows for normal penal functioning.

I saw my urologist monthly for the next three months, and then began to see the doctor every three months for the rest of that year. For the next nine months I took Viagra to help maintain a healthy blood flow, and that produced good results. For the next two years, I saw the doctor every six months, and yearly checks for years four and five.

There has been no recurrence since my initial diagnosis in 2007, and I am grateful.

Two of my brothers and I were talking about our medical conditions and the subject of cancer came up.

One brother had an elevated PSA. His primary physician described it as a “jump” whereas his urologist described it as “just a bump.” What exactly is the difference between and jump and a bump? Worry verses peace of mind! One raises alarms, the other means we’ll be mindful, but don’t

My daughter Sara came and stayed with me after the surgery for a couple of days.  Friends helped by getting me to appointments and taking me to other places.

My brother who was most recently diagnosed is just starting to deal with all of this.  It is nice to be here for him. Because I have already lived through it, I can help him in the process. Since his cancer is slow growing, the younger of my two brothers isn’t ready to make any hasty decisions. He has so many questions for his urologist, so he is taking his time.

My oldest brother has probably had the hardest time of it.  He has had chemo for prostate and bone cancer. My youngest brother hasn’t had it much easier. He has had hormone treatments and a whole host of other treatments to prolong his life. I didn’t have chemo or hormone treatments. That makes me blessed.

In the beginning I didn’t feel like a whole person anymore because part of me was gone. There were tools to help me realize that I am a whole person and I was able to work through some of that with help. I was also concerned about whether I would be able to get an erection, or have a normal sex life. I can. It just takes a little more work.

Sometimes it has been a little scary to know all eight of us have dealt with prostate cancer and have had the surgery. At the same time, it feels good to be someone my family can come to and talk about prostate cancer. It is also a relief to be able to be able to sit down and talk to each other about the disease of cancer and know that we don’t have to sweep in under the rug.

If there was anything I wish I knew at the time, I wish I would have asked how long it would take for the cancer to move outside the prostate. If it would have metastasized, the treatment would have been more aggressive, like my older brothers. Because I didn’t ask, I’ll never know.

Bob Hanaway
Appleton Wisconsin

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